P U!

My two oldest kids have been struggling this week with getting the cat litter done. Their struggle is also affecting the cats (who wants a dirty toilet) and us as the smell increases. I noticed that they were using their power struggle with each other as an excuse not to do the job at hand. As a parent it was oh so clear to see the problem and what was happening(in this case). Of course I shared my thoughts with them and told them both to go downstairs and I assigned which litter box they were to do (there are two -we have three cats-anyone looking for a cat?) :o) The fact that they were caught up in a "blame and complain" justification pattern struck me with such clarity. It was as plain as can be and I could not believe that they had not realized it because we had discussed not letting what others do determine how we behave.

As they were getting "the job" done the thought came to me, Is this what it is like for God? He sees us and He knows all there is to know. He gives us Scripture to guide us and all we need to do is follow it and the "stench" will not build up in our relationships, interactions, and lives. What really hit me was how easy it was for me to see the problem my kids were struggling with and a solution (get together and go do it together now) but how it is much more difficult to see the struggle in myself. I am smart enough to know that my kids do not just create their own ways of interacting. (yes they do have their own personalities) Often children are simply recorders and mirrors of what they have seen in their environments.(home,school,tv,movies,friends) So I took note of how much and in how many areas of my life am I STILL letting power struggles with the people in my life and with God keep me from His effective, protected, and blessed way of Life? I humbly see that I am still doing this and the hardest thing to see is the fact that I am doing it in the areas of life that are the MOST IMPORTANT to me and to God. It is easy for me to let go of the externals but as I come closer to the core of what is important to me the struggle is much harder to surrender into the FREEDOM of our Lord's ways. I am so thankful we have a Saviour and that we are in a period of Grace but this Scripture reminds me what I am sacrificing by not being obedient NOW in all areas. "God, God, a God of mercy and grace, endlessly patient—so much love, so deeply true—loyal in love for a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, rebellion, and sin. Still, he doesn't ignore sin. He holds sons and grandsons responsible for a father's sins to the third and even fourth generation."Exodus 34:4-5 (msg).

It hurts so much to realize that I am still letting God down and my husband and my children and that even though we all love each other and are providing grace for each other as best we can as humans that my sin still has an effect and it is such a horrible stench. Forgive me all. I do love you all as best I am able to at this point in my life but God is teaching me how to really Love you all. Holy Spirit help me to realize that I do not have TOMORROW but only TODAY and help me to choose Your Love today while I still have the breath of Life to make a choice.