we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ
2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)
appreciation definition- appropriate gratefulness
I cannot believe how easy it is for me to fall out of appreciation. I mean, really, after all Christ has done for me. I find myself all to often entertaining thoughts that are not in accordance with being a Child of God. Mostly in little things and sometimes in the big things. What a toxic poison for my mind and Life. I remember when we first started renting our home. I could not believe that we were going to be living in such a nice neighbourhood with the little we could afford for rent and now I am ashamed of the place because it needs some new paint and various other repairs-what is that about?! I catch myself thinking, Oh I just want all areas of my Life to reflect Christ and this simply isn't good enough to glorify God. Oh, whoa is me, why don't I get to live in a nice home like other people. Well first of all I have a home to Live in (Amen) and the fact is, I believe one of the key steps to our family coming to Christ was how God allowed us to live here in the first place (years of driving, walking and busing past TLC and Holy Spirit beckoning us to come) and what else in this Life is of more value than "as for me and my house we will serve the Lord" and "you and your household shall be saved." Another line of thinking I have found floating around in my mind has to do with our computer (by the way we were GIVEN this computer from someone who worked in a government office that was clearing out there old computers because they were upgrading-so we would not even have a computer if we had not been GIVEN it). I am sure if I timed it I spend more of my computer time waiting for things to load than I do actually doing the work I need to get done.(I refuse to actually time it because then I will just get discouraged even more) On good attitude days I run and put a load of laundry in, fold clean clothes or even use the time for Scripture reading thanking God the whole time for this opportunity to practice effective time management, multitasking and patience. On bad attitude days I sit and fester at how slow this computer is. I feel my muscles tensing, I shimmy the mouse around the screen thinking that may somehow kick it into gear, or I make various frustration sigh and groan sounds. It is absolutely silly and absurd to say the least. I was totally struck studying Psalm 13 this week, "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?"
"How long must I wrestle with my thoughts ?" That is profound for me. That is exactly what I am doing. I am letting "my" thoughts rule my existence instead of what Christ teaches me to think for my protection and growth in Him. How absolutely silly is this free will I am using to my own detriment.
I cannot believe how easy it is for me to fall out of appreciation. I mean, really, after all Christ has done for me. I find myself all to often entertaining thoughts that are not in accordance with being a Child of God. Mostly in little things and sometimes in the big things. What a toxic poison for my mind and Life. I remember when we first started renting our home. I could not believe that we were going to be living in such a nice neighbourhood with the little we could afford for rent and now I am ashamed of the place because it needs some new paint and various other repairs-what is that about?! I catch myself thinking, Oh I just want all areas of my Life to reflect Christ and this simply isn't good enough to glorify God. Oh, whoa is me, why don't I get to live in a nice home like other people. Well first of all I have a home to Live in (Amen) and the fact is, I believe one of the key steps to our family coming to Christ was how God allowed us to live here in the first place (years of driving, walking and busing past TLC and Holy Spirit beckoning us to come) and what else in this Life is of more value than "as for me and my house we will serve the Lord" and "you and your household shall be saved." Another line of thinking I have found floating around in my mind has to do with our computer (by the way we were GIVEN this computer from someone who worked in a government office that was clearing out there old computers because they were upgrading-so we would not even have a computer if we had not been GIVEN it). I am sure if I timed it I spend more of my computer time waiting for things to load than I do actually doing the work I need to get done.(I refuse to actually time it because then I will just get discouraged even more) On good attitude days I run and put a load of laundry in, fold clean clothes or even use the time for Scripture reading thanking God the whole time for this opportunity to practice effective time management, multitasking and patience. On bad attitude days I sit and fester at how slow this computer is. I feel my muscles tensing, I shimmy the mouse around the screen thinking that may somehow kick it into gear, or I make various frustration sigh and groan sounds. It is absolutely silly and absurd to say the least. I was totally struck studying Psalm 13 this week, "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?"
"How long must I wrestle with my thoughts ?" That is profound for me. That is exactly what I am doing. I am letting "my" thoughts rule my existence instead of what Christ teaches me to think for my protection and growth in Him. How absolutely silly is this free will I am using to my own detriment.
If I go searching through my mind I can all to easily find far too much "unappreciativeness." I remember times in life before Christ that my mind was filled with death thoughts and I was not free to live. My mind has been set FREE. I get to Live and I get to Live for His purpose and plan for my Life and how this Life will impact others through His Grace for Eternity. So when I start thinking, why am I not doing enough for Him, or why is our Life not moving forward and clearing as quickly as I want, I must remember how I actually have Life now and what a difference that is compared to the empty lostness I was living.
I could give many more examples of how I can lose sight of all I have to appreciate but this is getting too long (I need to learn how to share with much less sharing-so many blogs to cover-so little time-I will work on that)
Holy Spirit I pray that deep conviction penetrates my being every time my thoughts go astray into disobedience to how Jesus would have me think. That I will stop my thoughts and chose your Words that give my mind Life. May my actions reflect the thoughts I am choosing and may the Fruit of my Life feed all those in my sphere of influence with your Life giving ways.
Holy Spirit I pray that deep conviction penetrates my being every time my thoughts go astray into disobedience to how Jesus would have me think. That I will stop my thoughts and chose your Words that give my mind Life. May my actions reflect the thoughts I am choosing and may the Fruit of my Life feed all those in my sphere of influence with your Life giving ways.
2 comments:
It's true how quickly we can become discouraged with the things we have. When we first get them it is all amazing, and then envy starts to creep in and we think of all the better things that are available to others. We have to keep working on thankfullness all the time:)
I think I am still carring quite a lot of shame deep in my heart and then I project it onto my circumstances or surroundings due to the fact that I have a lie stamped on my heart "just not good enough." With out Christ this lie is truth for I truly am not good enough on my own. I am so thankful for Christs' sacrifice of His sinfree Life for my faltering life. What a God we have.
I think the times I am not careful to stay in "Christ thought" I can slip into projecting my need to fix my shame onto what is around me and "desire better."
Can anyone relate to what I am saying here?
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