Honoring My Dad and Step Mom

"Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you." Deuteronomy 5:16 (NIV)

I love you Dad and Mom. I thank you for taking me in after the death of my mother. Dad I thank you for not giving up when the world got really tough (understatement to say the least). I thank you for being a kind hearted person. Mom I thank you for taking on the responsibility of looking after another child after you had already had three of your own. Your "staying power" is a blessing I carry in my heart. I thank you both for your commitment to each other even when times got rough. I thank you both for working things out. These are just some of the things I see in you both that remind me of the Love of Christ. I pray that you both feel the arms of Jesus holding you warm and close in His Loving and protective arms. The world without His Loving guidance and protection is such a cold and empty place. You are both dearly Loved by Rick and me and our children. This is a big e-hug to honor and remind you of God's Love.

A Prayer For Sultan

"may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ," Ephesians 3:18

I was running to church (literally) the other night when I heard a bus approaching. Even though I was past my stop and had no plans to catch the bus for some odd reason I stopped, turned and waved at the driver. Most drivers would not even stop but for some reason this one did. As the bus pull up I read that the sign said out of service. The driver opened the door and asked me where I was going. I said I was just going up the street to the church. He said I could have a ride IF YOU WILL PRAY FOR ME! I told him I would be happy to pray for Him. I asked what he wanted prayer for. I told him there is nothing that can separate us from the Love of Christ. I told him I was so thankful that Jesus paid the price for our sins because we all have them. He dropped me off right at the church and would not accept my bus tickets! I asked him his name and he told me his name was Sultan. When I got into the sanctuary I looked at the clock and it was exactly 6:45PM. The time I had agreed to be there. I realized I would have been late without that ride. What a blessing. Thank you Sultan. You are in my prayers. Thank you Jesus for giving me the privilege to pray for someone.

Jacob's Birthday Video

God is so good to bless me with the awesome gift of family. Thank you Christ Jesus.

Week # 2 Parenting

"Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other." John 13:34-35 (the Message)

This weeks reading resources:

Growing Kid's God's Way by Gary & Anne Marie Ezzo

Main points for me:

Christian values reflect the person of Christ. When shared with our children, such values trigger a child's consciousness of God and eternity.

Biblical ethics is other-oriented-not as a way to salvation but as a result of salvation.

Our goodness, is a love response to God rooted in our relationship with Christ. "We are to love one another, for love is of God" (1 John 4:7)

The duty of parents is to continually bring their children to God's standard and not lower the standard to suit the child. (kindness, patience, self-control, gentleness, humility, endurance, obedience, respect, honesty, integrity, etc.)

"Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got!
Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates. " Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (the Message)
This Scripture gives us three principles of moral instruction:

1. Only one absolute God, His commandments are consistent with His perfect character and all biblical values are and extension of His character.

2. Moral training begins with the principles of moral conduct residing in the parents' hearts, we cannot pass on that which we ourselves do not already have.

3. Moral training is to be infused into all aspects of our family Lives all of the time, preferably at times of non-conflict.

Know it, live it, and share the experience with your children.

Focus on teaching your kid's the do's instead of suppressing the don'ts.

Focus on instruction in Christ likeness with encouragement in virtuous living.

Important to teach kid's how to's (moral action) and even more importantly the why for's (moral principle)

Moral why's when the behaviour deals with people
Practical why's when the behaviour deals with things

A child taking ownership of parental values depends on several factors working in harmony. Starting with instilling biblical values into the heart of a child. This process includes parental example, trusting relationships, parental honesty, security of the husband and wife relationship, the expression of family loyalty, and many more relational components. These factors encourage children to integrate mom and dad's value system into their lives.

Avoid Legalism and the abuse of parental authority- when the form of truth is elevated above the substance of truth (elevating the rule over the principle)

Important to teach our children how to act morally and more importantly how to think morally.

Continuing to practice First Time Obedience

Efficacy

same as last week

Observations in our home

the newness of First Time Obedience has worn off but like last week I find the more obedient I am to following the structure of First Time Obedience the better the success rate (still a good 75-80%) I want to continue using this tool for I find the more I use it the easier it gets and the better the kid's get at it. Then we all win.

Birthday Miracle

Those of us who attended the Unvailing Beauty dinner were given a white rose. We prayed that every petal of that rose was to represent a miracle that God is going to grant us during this next season of our Lives as we step out as Deborah's. My first miracle happened last evening just before we were about to share our youngest son's 3rd birthday.
Jacob and Ezra were coming down the stairs and Jacob fell. Our stairs are wooden-did I mention that my thoughts of our kids on stairs are not at peaceful?-in my mind the starirs and I jare not friends yet-I still often use gates and our youngest is three. Jacob was two steps from the top! I was in the kitchen and only heard the sounds of the fall (you know the kind you hear in movies -only you know it is a real body going through the fall and subsecquent bodily harm) and Elisha's scream. Elisha, Ezra and Jacob told me what happened. Jacob went flying airborn then the first bang I heard was the top of his head smashing on a stair about half way down then he went airborn again flipping up and over to land flat on his back on the bottom landing which is where he was when ran to him. He cried right away which is a good sign and he didn't even have the wind knocked out of him! I watch him carefully for any signs of head injury all evening and through the night but even though I was very scared and upset inside, Holy Spirit told me he was perfectly fine right from the time I picked him up after the fall. We sat down to Jacob's birthday celebration praying thanks to Jesus for sending His angels and carrying Jacob safely through the fall without any damage. Just like Christ carries us through our fallen state into salvation. The incicent made me question, how deep is my faith? Yes we gave thanks that Jacob was OK but I really was terrified! What kind of trust in God do I really have that I still go to such a scary place when my families' safety is threatened? Or maybe my faith was strong in Christ but I still may have feelings of fear but still praise Jesus through my fear. Anyways, Holy Spirit please give me the faith I need to fulfill your purposes in this Life. Thank you Christ Jesus for giving us another day of Life with Jacob and all of our family and the Body. Each breath you give us is such a precious gift that You have paid for in full.

So, I have been wanting to sing this song as a family with Rick playing along ever since CHRISTmas but everytime we tried to do it there was some reason or another why the timing was off. We had finally planned to encorporate it as part of Jacob's birthday celebration. And of coarse Jesus himself has given us the perfect opportunity as well as the Life to do and share it now. God is Good.


If you live in the Ottawa area or can get here by this evening come on over to The Life Centre 8pm-11pm then intercessory prayer 11pm-3am. We are going to have an amazing praise and worship evening at Refuel! Be there or be square-only joking we are all round in Christ :~)

It is oh so easy for me to be a failure, outcast, weirdo, depressed...I could go on. The messages I internalized, from the world, I have role played far too effectively. But our Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus did not come to this earth and give His Holy, Precious, universe creating Life for mine, to have me live the rest of my days here on earth realizing a pack of lies!

"...for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.” Luke 19:10 (NKJV)

So when the lies try to govern my behaviour through old habits, lack of Christ knowledge, FEAR or disobedience; I choose Christ! He has a plan and a purpose for my Life to do His work and by gum I am going to learn, grow and walk it. Thank you Christ for your Amazing Grace.

Week # 1 Parenting

Be holy; for I am holy (1Peter 1:16) (no pressure eh? - thank God for Grace and the Holy Spirit)

This weeks reading resources:
Growing Kids God's Way by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo -Introduction
Growing Kids God's Way 1st time obedience chart

Main points for me:

The most important duty of a parent is that of nurturing the ministry of reconciliation.

"But all things are from God, Who through Jesus Christ reconciled us to Himself [received us into favor, brought us into harmony with Himself] and gave to us the ministry of reconciliation [that by word and deed we might aim to bring others into harmony with Him].
It was God [personally present] in Christ, reconciling and restoring the world to favor with Himself, not counting up and holding against [men] their trespasses [but cancelling them], and committing to us the message of reconciliation (of the restoration to favor).
So we are Christ's ambassadors, God making His appeal as it were through us. We [as Christ's personal representatives] beg you for His sake to lay hold of the divine favor [now offered you] and be reconciled to God." 2 Corintians 5:18-20 (Amplified Bible)

Practical holiness is not merely a state of mind but a lifestyle--a moral lifestyle established by God and one in which parents are to instruct their children, "Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 (Amplified Bible)

The word "salvation" is the all- inclusive word of the gospel. It brings together all the redemptive acts and processes--justification, redemption, grace, propitiation, imputation, forgiveness, sanctification, and glorification. The place where God claims lost people is at the Cross. The Cross is where Jesus died the death that we by all rights should die, and would die, apart from Him.

Jesus Christ said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me" John 14:6 The Bible tells us, "If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto rightiousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation" Romans 10:9-10

It is eternally important that you make sure it is not just head knowledge and intellectual assent your children have given to the Lord. Jesus Christ wants your child's heart not just their head.

...the goal of parenting is to raise, by way of salvation, a morally responsible and Biblically responsive child.

What is it God requires of us? "He has shown you O man what is good. And what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:8

Authority of Scripture
Biblical parenting must spring forth from the canon of Scripture. It is authoritative in that it requires a response to its demands; it is sufficient in that regenerate man can participate in the full grace of God when he abides in the truth of God's Word.

Training the Heart
...the human heart requires attention....
We know that the human heart is the center of all of life and behavior. "Jesus said that all behavior and words have their origin in the heart." Matthew 12:34-35 "warns us that in the heart the impressions of a joung life are molded, and that the issues of life flow form it." Proverbs 4:23
general goal of heart training, help child gain personal self-control which in turn helps child with controlling his tongue (Proverbs 13:3, 15:2) , actions (Proverbs 14:29), handling negative emotions (Proverbs 25:28), making sound judgements (Proverbs 1:3), guides child to an honest life (Proverbs 10:9), non-offensive (Proverbs 16:7), filled with righteous deeds (Proverbs 1:3), brings peaceable fruit (Hebrews 12:11)

Two phases of moral training are development of moral behaviour and development of moral reasons.

We need to assess where our child is at and where we as parents have come from.

Avoid parenting extremes. Both authoritarian and permissive parenting are detrimental to the welfare of a child.

The duty of Christian parents to instruct their children in the knowledge of God cannot be achieved apart from His grace.

Three ways by which God communicates His grace that we need to look at are:

1. common grace-given to all mankind (eg. God brings refreshing rain on the righteous and the unrighteous alike.)

2. sanctifying grace- God's grace flows to families through the sanctifying grace of believing spouses and parents. That is, when mom and dad have come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, children receive the overflow of God's grace as it is poured out on their parents. The blessing is multiplied by each generation.

3. Obedience- If we want to claim for our children the blessings in God's Word, we must believe and be faithfully obedient to God's revelation. Without faith, we have no right to any blessings of promise. Without obedience, we cannot expect the favor of God nor the communication of grace on our children or on our efforts. Grace is communicated to each household when parents stay vertically aligned with the Lord. As we are blessed, so will our children be blessed. This is the power of sanctifying grace.

You cannot parent by your own strength and still achieve a godly outcome. Remember, let God through His grace do His work, while you through obedience do yours.

This week I introduced the behavioural tool of First Time Obedience.

Efficacy

great
higher levels of peace in the house
increased obedience
increased connectedness
more opportunities for positive reinforcement

Observations in our home

when I was obedient to the process of first time obedience I found the kids were about 99% successful in obedience (wow) when I was half obedient to the process, successful obedience declined to about 50% and when I was disobedient to the obedience was about 5%(yikes)

I think the steps of first time obedience are a keeper for our family. I want to practice it with my children and share in the good fruit it creates.