New Blog

Hi everyone. I moved my blog to a wordpress blog @ www.holyspirithelp.wordpress.com Come and visit me there!

New Blog

Hi everyone. I moved my blog to a wordpress blog @ www.holyspirithelp.wordpress.com Come and visit me there!

Elisha's birthday bash

Elisha's 12th Birthday Dinner. I Love You Elisha XXOO!

My Fathers Eyes By Eric Clapton

Speaking about Rock N' Roll

Sailing down behind the sun,Waiting for my prince to come.Praying for the healing rainTo restore my soul again.Just a toerag on the run.How did I get here?What have I done?When will all my hopes arise?How will I know him?When I look in my father's eyes.My father's eyes.When I look in my father's eyes.My father's eyes.Then the light begins to shineAnd I hear those ancient lullabies.And as I watch this seedling grow,Feel my heart start to overflow.Where do I find the words to say?How do I teach him?What do we play?Bit by bit, I've realizedThat's when I need them,That's when I need my father's eyes.My father's eyes.That's when I need my father's eyes.My father's eyes.Then the jagged edge appearsThrough the distant clouds of tears.I'm like a bridge that was washed away;My foundations were made of clay.As my soul slides down to die.How could I lose him?What did I try?Bit by bit, I've realizedThat he was here with me;I looked into my father's eyes.My father's eyes.I looked into my father's eyes.My father's eyes.My father's eyes.My father's eyes.I looked into my father's eyes.My father's eyes.

Spring Cleaning A Different Way

I am enjoying getting our closets decluttered(again) It feels so good to have things orderly and functional. It makes things easier to keep up and much more pleasant to be living in. I have enjoyed a break through as well in the" how to handle others clutter" situation. I am one of those people who feels like there is a big grey cloud hanging over my head when I am in undone stuff. I understand that there are many people who find that extra stuff lying around is not an issue for them in the least. In our family there are some of both types- the "clutter affected people" and the "clutter non affected people". Well it has been interesting as I have been able to gain some positive forward momentum yet again. Years ago I would get all upset and try to fight for things to be a certain way. Then I got to the point that I chose the people in my life over the state the house was in. This is fine if I was not so affected by the clutter. The dangerous part of this way of coping is if I am stuffing down my emotions and feeling helpless to create positive change in an area of life that is upsetting for me. Yes the state of the house is not more important to me than the people in my life but it dose affect me especially over years and years of clutter. Emotion stuffed down and feeling helpless can lead to despair and depression which can be just as damaging to the relationships in our lives as fighting and anger can. Both ways separate us from the kind of relationships Christ Jesus calls us to live in. So this time I am taking all the built up clutter that others are not ready to go through yet and they do not want me to do it for them and I am packing it all up and putting it all in one room in the basement. This way I do not have to see it every time I open a closet. It allows for more functional living space on the main and up stairs and I am not stepping over someone elses' boundaries or need to handle or not handle things in a different manner. It is not the perfect solution but it is an improvement and the respect of all individuals in our home is kept intact without me living in a state of despair that things are not being looked after. So I guess this non perfect solution turns out to be more perfect than what I think would be far more effective way of handling clutter. Too cool. I love it. But if you come over and closets are cluttered again please realize I am learning in baby steps and we are a big family. But we love each other and we are growing in Christ bit by bit.

Them Bones Them Bones Them Dry Bones They're The Working Of The Lord

God grabbed me. God's Spirit took me up and set me down in the middle of an open plain strewn with bones. He led me around and among them—a lot of bones! There were bones all over the plain—dry bones, bleached by the sun.
He said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?"
I said, "Master God, only you know that."
He said to me, "Prophesy over these bones: 'Dry bones, listen to the Message of God!'"
God, the Master, told the dry bones, "Watch this: I'm bringing the breath of life to you and you'll come to life. I'll attach sinews to you, put meat on your bones, cover you with skin, and breathe life into you. You'll come alive and you'll realize that I am God!"
I prophesied just as I'd been commanded. As I prophesied, there was a sound and, oh, rustling! The bones moved and came together, bone to bone. I kept watching. Sinews formed, then muscles on the bones, then skin stretched over them. But they had no breath in them.
He said to me, "Prophesy to the breath. Prophesy, son of man. Tell the breath, 'God, the Master, says, Come from the four winds. Come, breath. Breathe on these slain bodies. Breathe life!'"
So I prophesied, just as he commanded me. The breath entered them and they came alive! They stood up on their feet, a huge army.
Then God said to me, "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. Listen to what they're saying: 'Our bones are dried up, our hope is gone, there's nothing left of us.'
"Therefore, prophesy. Tell them, 'God, the Master, says: I'll dig up your graves and bring you out alive—O my people! Then I'll take you straight to the land of Israel. When I dig up graves and bring you out as my people, you'll realize that I am God. I'll breathe my life into you and you'll live. Then I'll lead you straight back to your land and you'll realize that I am God. I've said it and I'll do it. God's Decree.'"
Ezekiel 37:1-14 (The Message)

Isn't this Scripture verse amazing! What a miracle. Can you imagine being the one who was privileged to experience this. Right before your very eyes these old dried up bones come back to life. I love this. I can relate to this. Every time Jesus helps me overcome a block in my life- an area that I kept getting stuck and then I am able to move forward makes me feel like my old bones are coming to life. Can anyone else relate to this? Wow Christ is eternal life and He is real life here on earth as well. The Living Word (the Scriptures put into action through our lives) is such a precious gift. Thank you Jesus.

Real Or Memorex?

original picture

photo edited picture

Well what in the world are we looking at? My son (14) altered this picture in a few minutes with our old computer. Where is our reality check if all we see are altered images of people. It is no wonder how north american culture can get so "caught up" in looks. My heart fears for the generations to come for I think it is only going to get harder to differentiate between reality and fantasy as time and technology advance. Oh Lord Jesus protect us, guide us, and give us eyes to see true beauty. Let our hearts and minds discern between Truth and fiction. Mostly Lord let our lives and the lives of our children stay fixed on your beauty and purpose. Forever and ever I pray this in the name of Christ Jesus. Amen. (PS note- in the "unaltered" picture I am wearing make-up so even that is not necessarily reality)

Unwanted Images

So there I was today at lunch checking my e-mails and all of a sudden these naked men images pop up on my screen! I hadn't even touched any buttons. I was in the middle of typing out a comment to a friend and I then flash. As soon as I realized what I was looking at I got to that red X to cancelled as fast as I could but it only took that few seconds for the images to register into my mind. I feel invaded. I did not ask for that nor was I looking for it yet wham there it was.

Something like this has only happened to me once before and it was years ago at the library computer. I was trying to get to Blues Clues (the little blue dog for kids-you know with Steve) well I didn't know that it was Nick Jr. and I just looked for blues clues and let me tell you it was not a little blue dog! and my young son was on my knee and baby Jacob in my arms and I was at the library-ugh!

It is amazing at how much beauty there is to share on the Internet and then what ugliness can be found in the same means of communication. But then again I guess it depends on what we define beauty as. To me beauty is in the learning to share our lives in a Christ like manner. Seeing people grow and heal and be set free is so beautiful and it has nothing to do with an image but everything to do with living life under the blessings and protection that Christ intends for our lives-for His beautiful children.

Anyways, has anyone else had some repulsive images pop up in their face while on the computer? I know that I am an extra sensative person. Many people would not be fazed in the least I guess.

Happy Anniversary-Birthday

Today is Rick and my 15th wedding anniversary and our daughters 12th birthday. Wow, so much has happened in those years and yet they have gone by so quickly. Elisha was born on our 3rd wedding anniversary and it was Easter Sunday morning. There we were in our tiny one bedroom basement apartment me in labour and little Jordan hunting for Easter eggs. I was thankful for the distraction for Jordan because as you women know labour is a bit of work and takes quite a lot of concentration and the mid wives just made it on time-phew. That was a very special day for sure.

Thank you God for our lives together. You are sanctifying us more and more each day, each year. Thank you for the gift of time and I pray me and my family use our time as You would have us live it.

Happy Anniversary Rick. I Love You! Happy Birthday Elisha. I Love You!

A Quote

"I discovered that as I began to love people and care for people and become more involved with people, I had more joy, more tears, more laughter, more meaning, and far greater fun than I ever had before" by author Reuben Welch

Amen and Amen to that, eh?

Yey I'm Getting It - Now HELP

As I was getting the little ones to sleep tonight I was reflecting on further reading in Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel and a new revelation came to me-Hallelujah.

I see how the areas of my life where I am not walking fully under God's eternal Truths my family and I suffer. Let me try to explain what I mean by this. The times I fall short in giving my husband the respect and affection he needs we both suffer. The times he is unable to help me with the things that are important to me we both suffer. Now we are committed to each other and are doing the best we can for now but every time we do our relationship our way when that is different than God's Truths we hurt. And not only we suffer but this has an impact on all aspects of our lives. So we hold fast to each other because we do love each other and are in our marriage until death do us part. But we are not realizing all the blessings and protection that God has for us. We have blocked it even though it is right there waiting for us. It makes us have to work harder to fight the lies of this world from getting between us. It makes it harder to extend Grace to each other as well because the lies are just sitting there trying to get in and shadow God's Truth.

So the thing that came to me was that this will also happen if I do not find out how to teach, guide and train our children in God's Truths as well as showing them Grace. They too will not get the full blessings and protection that comes from God's eternal Truths. They too may settle for less than God would have for them. NO WAY HO SAY! I claim in the name of Christ Jesus it stops here.

So Lord thank you for this fresh revelation and now I pray for Holy Spirit to guide me in every moment of my day and in all of my interactions so I can start to walk this realization out in our everyday lives. Lord I do not have a clue how to do this in my own strength so please send Your Wisdom and Knowledge to me so I may be a blessing to this Life You have blessed me with and a blessing to my family and those in my sphere of influence. Please show me how Holy Spirit-I need You! Thank You, thank You, thank You and Amen.

Grace Based Parenting Dr. Tim Kimmel

I know I was not going to share my parenting reading due to the fact that it can be an upsetting topic for people but I am enjoying this book we have been lent and I just wanted to share a bit of my experience so far. I am about half way through. It is called Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel. I am thankful for this book and any Christ like learning that comes my way. There is so much learning and growth to accomplish.

I like this book because it talks about Grace and Truth existing as one in Christ. I have so struggled with how to show Grace but teach my children what is good for them (right from wrong) I find I have sacrificed their training because I have not known that Grace and Truth can only exist together. When they are separated they disintegrate into something not of Christ. Something hurtful and damaging to Life.

I am thankful for the progress that I am making even though I know there is much more God wants me to aspire to. Some books and Holy Spirit's convictions can be difficult and often painful because when I am ignorant of my wrong doings my Spirit may know somewhere deep inside I feel things are not right but I don't know what it is. Once Holy Spirit convicts me or I learn through Scripture or a Christ like teaching what I am doing wrong it is right there in my face and I can see the damage it is causing and that hurts a lot. But I am thankful that I can learn and move out of the things that are hurting me and my family even though the process can be uncomfortable to say the least. I am thankful for the growing pains because it gives me hope that I am not staying as I was but moving forward into greater Life.

So I am enjoying this book and I look forward to learning much and being able to help my children be all God wants them to be.

Oh Happy Day!

Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. John 20:11-12 (NIV)

Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." John 20:21-23 (NIV)

Though the doors were locked( I remember when my heart was locked even though I was crying out to God for help in my way--but I remember Jesus came right through that locked door even when I didn't have the keys*), Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."
Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"
Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name. John 20:26-31 (NIV)

Oh Happy Day indeed! You know I really do not understand this precious Christ Love! It is so profoundly beautiful. His Love shines where there continues to be darkness. His Love allows my heart to overflow with Joy when some situations in life are not as they should be. When I see my short comings and there painful consequences on those precious people in my life. The times I fail to reach out in affection to my husband, the times I get caught up in my emotions and needs instead of being fully present in a Christ like-Life giving way to my family and people in my sphere of influence, the times I let my frustration of undone stuff come between me and God's Ways and Truths for our lives, the times I let my fears rule my behaviours and choices instead of His Living Word and on and on I could go.

I know this Christ Love is the Love that sustains those people who are holding their starving or dying children in their arms and still be able to Trust in God and His unfailing Love He has for them and their children. I know this is the Christ Love that has given us Life even after death. I cannot explain or comprehend His Agape (unconditional) Love for us but I am so thankful for it. I am so thankful that He has filled my hopeless heart to overflowing with hope even when I am faced with hopelessness. That is so amazingly wow! Thank you Christ Jesus for sacrificing your sinless Life for a humanity who can slip into wallowing in our sin without Your guidance and protection. Thank you for Your ultimate gift of eternal Life and Your amazing grace. Thank you for the empty tomb that is the hope for us all. Thank you for sending us Holy Spirit to help lift us upward to what you have for our lives and not leaving us in the depths we can dig ourselves into. Oh precious God how Holy you are.

Oh Happy day indeed. Happy Easter to you all. Christ Love to you all.

*light pink writing in the Scripture quotes my thinking.

Is She Old Or Young?

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired. Isaiah 40:31 (Amplified Bible)

I could not find the quote I was looking for but the verse above did explain in part what I am experiencing. In Godspell there is a song called Bless The Lord and the words explain what I am feeling:

He clothes thee with his love

Upholds thee with his truth

And like an eagle he renews

The vigor of thy youth

When I was young I felt so used up and vile yet my body was in it's youth. I did not notice this bodies' youth. I only saw ugliness. Now the wear of years of depletion are showing it's consequences on this abused temple. I am taken by surprise when age reveals it's lines, wrinkles, lumps, bumps, scars and sags on this face and body. I find it interesting how I can feel so full of Life at this time yet see the reflection that I do. I know how I feel is of God. It is His Life that fills me with energy that is difficult to contain. The Word of God is eternal and Scripture (Jesus-the Word made flesh) fills this aging vessel. I feel youthful and excited to share His Love and Eternal Life with others. So I am not going to focus on a mirror that shows me a reflection of this fleeting world. I am going to revel in the Life that pulses through this body directly from Holy Spirit, God Himself. I choose to reflect His Life and not human flesh. I will Live in accordance to His Word as best I can and pray this decision to walk in the promise of Eternal Life will shine His Love onto the darkness bringing others into His eternal glory. Hmm maybe I will even start jogging again (that is if these old worn out knees can handle it and I can fit it in an already very busy day-and mostly if I am brave enough to try it out again-I will think about it- but I should just do it)

A voice says, Cry [prophesy]! And I said, What shall I cry? [The voice answered, Proclaim:] All flesh is as frail as grass, and all that makes it attractive [its kindness, its goodwill, its mercy from God, its glory and comeliness, however good] is transitory, like the flower of the field.
The grass withers, the flower fades, when the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely [all] the people are like grass.
The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.

Isaiah 40:6-8 (Amplified Bible)

Angels At The Nails

Here are some pictures from two different years, two completely different people,two different cameras and I hear there are more out there as well. God sometimes lets His angels be seen to help further His Kingdom. And if you want to 'feel' Jesus' holy angels make sure you get yourself to 'The Nails.' It is going to be great. I am so excited. Bring a friend and enjoy.

Wanna Have An Extra Encounter With God?

Are you run down? Feeling disconnected? Needing some redirection and grounding? Have I got a place for you. An experience... to break through those chains that are binding you and blocking the Life that you are meant to live. Get yourself to the next Encounter Weekend Friday April 20th 7PM & Saturday April 21st 9AM at The Life Centre.

My husband and I love these weekends. Every time we go through one we feel renewed. God takes us deeper in our relationship with Him and sets us free in new areas of our lives. It is like our yearly or biyearly cleansing. 'Stuff' can build up in our spirit and a good flush can do amazing things to set us farther along our Christ like walk.

If you are interested in this Encounter with God contact Terry Boudreau at 613-834-6585 ext. 27 or tboudreau@lifecentre.org. See you there.

WooHooooo-A Body Image Story-Finally

Well Tracy, I said I was going to share this quite a while ago then we lost our Internet for over a week and then our computer went down for a couple of days but we are up and running again. Now I am going to have to recall what I was going to share with you. Hmmm. Oh yeah you had asked the ? who is 'open' in the change room and who is 'closed' and for me that brought on initially a joking response but afterward I had some 'body image' thoughts to share.

When I was young early teens and twenties I was very concerned about how I looked. I was trying to do everything possible to look OK. I spent so much of my time, energy and resources on how I looked. Nothing was ever good enough and no matter what I did I just plain looked awful. That was all I could see. Then after I had my first child I went completely the opposite. I took a stand- to be a 'natural woman' and let my body be the way God designed it. Under arm hair, leg hair, no bra, and on and on. Rick is so.... gracious is all I have to say about that! I will never forget the look on these teen girls faces when we were at a local swimming pool. The poor girls were so repulsed by me with hair on my legs and probably a few other observations they made when looking at me. I got "disgust" and "repulsed" vibes from many sources not just at the pool.

To make a novel -a smaller novel- I will move on. After many years of therapy(for anxiety & depression) I would find myself still struggling with -what is the purpose of trying to look OK vs. I am the way I am can't you accept me. And although I was not 'owned' so much by these issues they were still there. But see it is still my way what I deem to be right or wrong given whatever frame of mind I am in at the time.

When I gave my Life to Christ ALL of that changed. He is the purpose. He is the meaning. And He brings a balance and sense to my functioning that brings the Answer to my struggles even though it is hard to put into words what the answer is.(if that can possibly make any sense) I will try to explain. Now, I use various products for my face and hair and alter the 'natural' way my hair and body would well 'naturally' uhhh position itself; within moderation for the purpose of Christ. Jesus wants me to love my husband. Part of loving my husband is looking socially acceptable. Jesus wants me to attract people to Him through my life. I have noticed that there are not too many people attracted to a life that is distasteful in any form. Do I have distaste in my life? You bet ya. I am far from where Christ would have me be. But I am striving in Him.

These are just a few of the thoughts that have allowed me freedom from being owned by the issue of looks and at the same time being free to put some effort and investment into presenting myself as uhh socially acceptable. I could go on and on with many more thoughts(they help me understand what I am doing and why) but I find my thoughts take away from the real healing that allows me this freedom. My healing really is a gift from Christ Jesus. His purpose and healing power brings every situation that I surrender in obedience to Him into a state of wholeness that is hard for my human mind to share. But I must because His Love bursts forth from my heart and I am compelled to do everything I possibly can while I still have breath to share this Amazing Love of Christ.

So whether it is how I present this body to others or learning to look after 'things' better or how and where I spend my God given Life energy and resources it all has real purpose that is grounded in Truth. And I am so thankful He has healed it all up and I am slowly but surely realizing it. God is so Good.

I pray this is somewhat on topic. I am skipping over quite a large topic here. And the whole 'looks' thing can also get into another area that I think our society struggles with which is body size and shape. Having recovered from a 'prison of thoughts' that held me captive depending on- a number on a scale, a size of clothing, the amount of body fat content I may be carrying at any given time, what I saw when I looked in the mirror and more to the point what the image of myself was. I find that all of these issues are put in their proper place in Christ. He is sovereign. He has won the Victory and all we need to do is pick up His trophy as we cross over His finish line into Freedom. I know on some days this can seem like such a hard thing to do while we are living here on earth. But Holy Spirit gives me the sense it is possible. It is achievable. And His Love shines through it all. Thank God. OK I am really rambling now. Got to go.

Fffeeww!

I am finally all caught up-for now on the blogs after being 'off' for over a week. It was nice to re-e-connect with you all.

The Nails-Imagine You Were The One...

Easter is almost here. Can you believe it! If you want to put something really meaningful into your Easter than plan to come on out to one of "The Nails" productions. This is a riveting, dramatic portrayal of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ as seen through the eyes of a local blacksmith. Imagine you were the one who made "The Nails" that crucified the greatest man that ever lived.

This is a FREE event held at The Lifecentre 2214 Innes Road on Thursday April 5th at 7PM & Friday April 6th at 6 & 8PM.

Come on down and check it out. My family used to come several years every Easter before we ever attended TLC and we loved it and still do!

Becoming Partners

"And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." Matthew 16:18 (NIV)

My husband and I just became partners of our local church The Life Centre. I have been going there for a few years now and finally the time has come. I am so used to living a lie of 'the outsider' 'does not fit in' 'never part of' that when Christ's Truth invites me into a family of believers and seekers it is an experience that is still quite new to me. I find the old lie trying to find its way back in to the shadows of my mind the odd time. The interesting thing for me is that Christ is lighting up so much of my mind there simply isn't much room for those lies to hide. I am far too busy filling my thoughts with His ways and exploring Scripture that there just isn't much room for darkness. And thank God for that. I am going to continue to learn what it is to follow Jesus and I am going to continue to work on making my everyday life reflect His love. I am excited to be a part of this new Church family. I look forward to learning and growing here and being able to help others do the same. Wow what a gift.